Missing My Angel

We have had a horrible day. It was easier to get out of bed this morning but for some reason it was hard to get thru the day. I am so heartbroken right now. I have so many emotions going through me I don't know what to do. I am crying for my baby girl and I know she isn't coming home but I keep asking her to. I just want to hold, kiss, and hug her so bad.  There are so many questions that I need answered and I know over time they will be, but why me? I did everything for my Adriana and I might have been tired but I was never too tired to take care of her. We are lost without her. We have gone from taking care of her 24/7 for nearly 3 years to nothing. I always knew that this day would come but I had hoped that it wouldn't. I wasn't prepared to go thru this. My baby was so happy the day she passed then all of the sudden she was gone. I am terrified to have more kids. I am not scared to have a special needs baby. I am scared to lose another one.